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Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Just stepped outside, closed my eyes, took a deep breathe of fresh air, sipped a Dew. What a perfect morning, what could go wrong? Crap I forgot 2 put pants on!
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
Whether you`re a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.