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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Dear Stomach: You`re bored, not hungry. Shut up.
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.