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Happiness is the journey, not the destination, and when you reach your destination, ie; bottom of a beer, you must embark on a new journey, ie; get another beer........
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
what is the difference between a Fly and a mosquito? ``A fly can fly, But a Mosquito can`t mosquito``
I told my family that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle…So, they got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE” !! I’m happy to report that I succeeded…