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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
FYI fellas: if you wake up with some chick and you can`t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They`ll write her name on the cup for ya!!!
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
The best part about living in a small town is when I don`t know what I`m doing, someone else does.
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"