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Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you`re walking.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
Just ate a sleeve of crackers on my wife`s side of the bed.. I`ll let you know...