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I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won`t eat you. If that doesn`t work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
hilarious