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Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
MY 8 YEAR OLD: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
I`m not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
You think I’m mean? If only you knew what I say in my head.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.