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What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
If you are what you eat then where is this place that a ton of people are eating stupid?
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
I just blew all my party money on bills again
No one has ever been in an empty room.
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
Dear middle finger: thank you for always sticking up for me.
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
The sooner one of you ladies takes ‘one for the team’ and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!