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Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
I am a brilliant man, I just sometimes can`t remember where I parked my car.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
I just found a $100 bill laying on the floor in the checkout lane. I don`t even have to try to find out who lost it, because it`s the same color, and has the same picture on it as the one I lost 2 years ago!! WooHoo, talk about fate huh??!!