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Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought Iād take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
Born free. Now, Iām expensive.
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.