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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.
School was so much easier when 2 plus 2 equaled 4 instead of "X." Whoever decided to involve the alphabet in math deserves a solid punch to the face.
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.