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There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead, but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times. Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.