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Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words `active` or `sport` in it`s name
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.