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Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
Ride me like you stole me.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.