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In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.