Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whatever I did to make you hate me, Iād like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
Tieam... problem solved
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`