Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.