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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn’t see himself in a mirror.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?