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Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.