Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
My New Year’s resolution is to climb Mount Everest, learn 7 new languages, and stop lying.
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...