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I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Don`t worry, kids. Being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.