Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
if there wasnΒ΄t a last minute IΒ΄d never get anything done.
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
Hi can you fill this prescription please? Sir this is just a post-it note with `give me the good stuff` written on it.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
lol I rotfl
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
Sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.` ... what, am I supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.