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AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
According to cannibals it only takes one vegetarian to make vegetarian chili.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
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I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.