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Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
I think my girlfriend’s hallucinating. She keeps telling me she’s seeing other people.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
It’s not a nap unless your face wakes up in a puddle of your own drool.
Just spent a week building a time machine. That’s seven days of my life I’m going to get back.