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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
I drink to make other people interesting
9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
If you watch the Twilight movies backwards, Kristen Stewart still can`t act.
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
I`ve stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.