Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
St. Patricks day is the only time you can ask somebody in public,"Do you want some green" without you looking suspect.
3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
I`m no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you`re nuts.
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.