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The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma`am? Me: No, I`m just dizzy b/c I`m having a heavy flow day. It`s really clotty and... Cop: You`re free to go.
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.