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Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!