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Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
Sometimes when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
Hibernation should be a human thing too.