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I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on