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It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
“Let’s hang out sometime.” - liars
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!