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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
I`ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman. Woken up to a whole bunch of them though.
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
Iām Not Arguing. Iām Simply Explaining Why Iām Right.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.