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Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked , "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "kindergarten".
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
With all the new car technology you would think someone could invent a side mirror that could show where an object actually appears.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?