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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
Why do medications always have side effects like `anal leakage` & `suicidal thoughts`? Why not `invisibility` or `spontaneous orgasms`?
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!