Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
Nothing says you`re ugly like Facebook asking, "are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?"
If anyone every texts me "who is this" I always respond "Jake from State Farm"
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
I just gotta believe that as a species we`re capable of making an automatic hand dryer that`s quieter than an airplane.
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear