Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t need glasses ... I drink straight from the bottle.
Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.