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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
Could you please put your screaming baby on vibrate.
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Don`t ever forget.. I`m always here. A l w a y s. Scrolling. Judging. Judging. Scrolling. That`s right. I see everything.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
If the shampoo and conditioner in her shower are not the same brand GET THE F*CK OUT, SHE`S A MAN!
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.