Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
Just made a bunch of money by standing outside a party and charging $3 to enter ... I don`t even know who`s party it was!
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it reminds me of some of the drunken nights we use to have.
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
This Facebook is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."