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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
My pessimism has never failed me, but I`m sure someday it will.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Drink till she´s cute, but stop before the wedding
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
I’ve found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore.
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.