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I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
If I hug you longer than 3 seconds, I’m picking your pockets.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.