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Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
The thing about smart mother f*ckers is... They sound like crazy mother f*ckers to dumb mother f*ckers!
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
drink beer ?? save water
Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
I would want to change my name to `Nobody` on Facebook. So when someone updates something stupid it says `Nobody likes this`
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.