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We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!