Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
My ex was in a swimming competition with 19 other women today. They were doing the breaststroke. Unfortunately, she came in last place. She didn`t know she could have used her arms!
B!tch, please! You`re so fake, even barbie is jealous of you
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.