Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
When people sit in front of me at the movies. I make a loud fart sound so they quickly move to get away from me.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
My favorite beer is an open one.
My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I`m great at pole dancing.
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.
Thanks to yesterday`s chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.