Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good.
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
When I bang my toe against something it`s like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know
My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.