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Is it too early for extra nog in my egg?
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.
According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.