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All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
Serving size ?? LMAO
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
If you`re ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook