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There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
I smoked weed once and realized spoons are just little bowls on sticks
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?