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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: