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A wise man once said nothing.
Why do baby clothes have pockets?
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
I always advise people never to give advice.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!