Daily Silly Status

Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.

There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"

lol I rotfl

I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).

A night of insomnia is usually followed by a morning of browser history clearing

I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”

Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.

Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.

*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!

This might be the worst online counseling site ever.

I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.

Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....

Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?

Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.

"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch