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10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.
I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
"I don`t care if you think it sounds gross, that`s what we`re calling it" -Guy who named the sweater.
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you`re no detective
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.