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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
And then I was all: “I’m really getting sick of your shit, bitch.” And then she was all: “To speak with a representative please press 7.”
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.