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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?