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A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
Chip clips are for quitters.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.