Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you’re getting dirty looks because your baby is crying loudly on a plane, start crying even louder and everyone will avoid eye contact
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
I always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations are replace it with "Drinking for two"
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.