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*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
"Dancing with the Stars" is being canceled, but tune in to a new reality show by the same creators called, "Athletes do your Taxes."
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.