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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding. I drink wine in yoga pants.
Today I have been sober for 100 days. Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total.
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
I need a new bad decision.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.