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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
Dear naps, I`m sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.