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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
I’d like to think I’ve taught Citibank a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards all willy-nilly.
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.