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Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
There`s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
I forgot to post this earlier
Best Pregnancy T-Shirt… “9 Months Sober”
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.
It’s a status….not your diary…
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.
You had me at 0 mutual friends
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.