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Is a roasted peanut like a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts?
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
It’s amazing what I’m able to get done when I need to do something else.
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.