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If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
The future is much like the present, only longer.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.